Category: Uncategorized

April 16, 2023

by Dr. Plastic Picker

The boys are coming home today. They got onto an earlier flight home from New York than planned. Our son went to see NYU during their admit weekend. We are so grateful , incredibly grateful and realize how fortunate we are, that he had a choice. It was a brutal admission season for many students, and somehow our very normal and very joyous son emerged okay. NYU’s admit rate this year was 8% but he was admitted. He flew with his father, and they did the admit day and at the same time he saw his aunts for the first time since the pandemic as his paternal side is all based in New York.

Our son had fun. They had a DJ, cotton candy machine and white wine for Mr. Plastic Picker to drink in a room that overlooked NYC. The view was incredible. But I talked to my son and he said honestly that it was all a bit too much. There was a little bit too much litter for his liking, and he’d rather be in California for school and catch a flight home earlier to spend the rest of the weekend with his friends and family.

And with that, my mommy heart was so relieved. His younger sister and I were in the car, living our lives here is our hometown of San Diego. We drove to the San Diego Central Library in downtown, and visited the art displays and dreamed of Gold Awards and artistic projects that she is pursuing. We picked up girlfriends and dropped them off, and she sat in the back with her friends and they talked about books and boys and boys in books, but definitely more about books in general than boys. We walked in nice Liberty Station where she felt safe in her jeans and cute top. We walked in East Village, where she got creepy looks and comments from strange men while she was wearing modest shorts and a sweatshirt. I clutched her tight and felt fearful that it was just me, and where was her tall brother and where was her father? Did they know? Did they know from across the country that I was scared without them in the state?

It’s hard to know why certain things happen. It’s hard to know why some children want to go away and some children want to stay. I realize that it’s their lives, and I absolutely gave him space to decide. But that the boys decided to come home earlier, and our son decided that he’d stay in California for college – made me so happy. The girls were home in San Diego and every 30 minutes or so, either I or his sister would exclaim – we are so glad. We are so glad he decided that home was better than away.

April 11, 2023

by Dr. Plastic Picker

I’m happy. I can’t explain it better than that. I’m not chasing anything to validate myself. I’m not trying to have anyone recognize me or notice me. I’m not trying to change my body or my weight. I’m just happy in my own skin and most importantly within my family and in my own heart and mind. I like myself. I like that I have tangential thoughts, and that I am a smart and thoughtful pediatrician and parent. I like that I can string together a sentence.

And life has been beautiful and slow. The parrots are squawking and a friend told me that they often will eat citrus and fruit from home gardens, but they never eat ours? We have blackberries, kumquats, citrus and the parrots leave our garden blessedly alone. The butterflies and lots of bees visit my mother in law’s garden. I sat out in the back and front garden for long moments yesterday. I was sitting and just visiting with a friend, who is also a pediatrician and climate friend. We talked about our families and our children, in a way I could not have imagined 15 years ago when we first met. She’s a beautiful beautiful person inside and out, and it’s amazing that we are friends.

I told my other friend who is more of a pen-pal really about my mother-in-law’s blackberries. I told him that the children are lucky to be able to pick the blackberries and eat them directly. Maybe in 15 years we will be more than just pen-pals and the seeds that we have planted in both of our children’s hearts will blossom into something. The seeds are planted deep right now, and need time to grow. No matter what the families that each child is growing in, are both filled with love and caring and nurturing. That is why I’m confident that no matter what, when our families both met it was a beautiful moment. No matter what, when we met we created a ripple in the universe and that was a ripple of goodness and healing. The San Diego Heat and Human Health Summit will happen because we met, and thousands of lives will be saved because we are pushing our region to plan for extreme heat events.

Our son ate a blackberry and it was so sweet he said. His grandmother planted the blackberry and weaved the vine into a beautiful arc that is like a crown for a king. And he’s our king and the prince of this household. His father and his grandfather love him very much. We all love him. But the men in the family love him in a different way, with a father’s and grandfather’s pride that their name will be carried on – all the way to college and to hopefully to career success that has echoes of past Korean dynastic victories. It’s hard for me to fully realize their pride, since I’m neither Korean nor really have thought of my dynastic lineage.

In the end I’m a really simple person. I went to a fancy school with a fancy name, and I like being busy and decided to help save the earth. But the core of who I am is just a cheerful person. I am so glad I met me again.

April 5, 2023

by Dr. Plastic Picker

We had finished dinner last night. Mr. Plastic Picker and I had one of those fleeting middle-aged moments when the best thing, is having enough time between work and dinner to go to Costco together. It’s probably the most fun I ever have, going to Costco with my college-boyfriend now husband and deciding what to buy for our family with the money we have earned. This is why we had an easy dinner, because we bought the premade Costco fajita chicken corn taco set. Have you dear readers purchased that one too? It’s a fun dinner because who doesn’t love fajita chicken tacos. Certainly our family does.

After the said fajita chicken taco dinner was consumed, it was getting dark already but I wanted to go for a walk. My body needed to move because I had been with friends. When I am with friends, and I’m better at making friends and being a friend now, I try to listen more. But absorbing the stories of other families is hard for me. The stories are different from my own. The decisions are different than the ones I made. And I don’t have the clinical detachment as a clinician, because their decisions affect my own family. So I listened to my friends and their family stories, but I had this nervous energy after absorbing some of those stories and and I needed to walk.

Our daughter walked with me, and we walked and talked and rounded multiple quiet tree-lined blocks. We brought a flash-light and had fun chatting about our stories, other stories and just being together. We talked about family and she wants to be like me, have children at a reasonable age. She’s like me, a planner and has her years of college, post-graduate study, law school and life all planned out. Some of the plans are the innocent and entirely appropriate aspirations of a smart and articulate 14 year old, win international prizes and going to international type galas with Estee Lauder type endorsements. But some of the plans are those that I realize are important to her, because I am her mother. Her future children, and how she’ll mother and who will mother with her.

A lot of people worry about their legacy, and honestly I’ve never been one of those. For mothers who have daughters, our legacy to the world is our own daughters and the way they will mother. I realized I am incredibly lucky in that my mother is alive and healthy, and mothered me well past the time her own mother was taken from her due to war. I realized I am lucky that I have my mother-in-law, who has mothered me and loved me across our cultural barriers. Some of my love for Kdramas is honestly that I came to love them first (my husband’s family) and then the Kdramas came as a caricature of a real loving family and culture.

I do get to take some credit for this beautiful creature. She is my legacy because I poured all my love into this little person who was born too early and who was whisked away to the NICU before I could really get to know her. But I know her so well now because we walk and we talk. The boy who captures your heart will for sure be one lucky boy, who will get to bask in the love of you continuing your legacy little one. And I hope for you a daughter also, so you will realize how much love you gave me every time we walked and talked.

March 22, 2023

by Dr. Plastic Picker

I’m just living my life. I just finished another really cool interaction/interview with Dr. April Moreno from the Public Health Podcast Network https://www.publichealthpodcasters.com/. I talked about my advocacy and leaded aviation fuel pollution and leaded drinking water, and also the upcoming San Diego Heat and Human Health Summit that a group of us are organizing. I’ve started and deleted several blogposts in the last week. I’ve had to email many wonderful people and sometimes those emails are like mini-blogpost. So by the time I return to the blogpost that I’ve started, the words are gone. They are used up.

But even starting to type a new blogpost that never gets published, does help. It helps just to start, to start typing something. I realize there are people listening. 86 clicked on the ab 249 testimony. I just cut and pasted what I said at the committee hearing. It was my perspective as a front-line pediatrician who is decently knowledgeable about lead and has co-authored one article on lead pollution advocacy. I don’t pretend to be the world’s expert, but I also live my truth and know that I care and that this particular issue pertains to me and the children in my practice.

Being honest is really important. Honestly is underrated. I was talking to a young pediatrician who was seeking life-advice, and he asked me about my path. And I told him that I veered from the standard leadership path in our HMO because of my need to be true to my values and to be honest with myself. I also demand honestly in others that I work with. I know I come from a place of privilege in that I haven’t had to make myself work or associate with too many people who I find dishonest. As a child, my parents gave me the cover to avoid those folks. And you know what, it’s okay. It’s okay in your family life and your volunteer life to choose surround yourself with those that embody love and caring and positivity.

I was hugging our freshman last night and I realize that I’ve set a good example for her. She told me “I’m glad you have sheltered me. I’m glad I’m in a bubble.” And within that bubble my children and my students and those that I love, can be given the freedom to imagine the world that they deserve. I know the stark reality about the ugliness in the world. Certainly I do. I’m a pediatrician. But I also know there is absolute beauty and goodness out in the universe. And if you are one of my friends that I’ve sent long-winded emails to, thank you for being part of that beauty and goodness.

March 10, 2023

by Dr. Plastic Picker

The little one approved this picture. I have more glamorous ones of her posing and being pretty and fourteen is her first real Vietnamese ao dai, a cute beacher romper and so forth and so forth, but this one is the one I want to remember. It was just the two of us visiting my parents when she found out about being accepted to this council. I just shared on the San Diego Women’s Facebook Group.

“Wanted to share because of what my daughter told me. I’m so proud of her. She was selected as 1 or 12 girls (there were 100 applicants) to serve on the Youth Advisory Council for the California Commission on the Status of Women and Girls. This is a well respected bipartisan and established council that advises our state on legislation and issues that are important to women. The YAC was formed to bring youth voices. She wrote in her essay about the importance of reproductive rights, prevention of family violence and legislation needed to ensure workplace equities for mothers namely pay equity. She deservedly is feeling proud of herself balancing all her activities and academics, but she said “I’m pretty awesome but that’s because you’re awesome.” She’s seen me struggle through work balance issues, and trying to figure out how to move the climate work forward in San Diego and all the joys and frustrations. And it’s because I’m a mommy doctor and I talk about issues, so many issues. She’s doing her Girl Scout Gold Award on raising awareness on the history of sexual violence during WWII and Korean “Comfort Women” through ceramic art. Sometimes I question the amount of time I spend volunteer mentoring and the climate work, but I realize I can do this because there are other loving adults around her doing the same for her. She told me while we were in Hawaii visiting my parents, “California is pretty awesome.” And I told her, yes California is pretty awesome. Thank you for letting me share. She’s the baby I had in fellowship and the one I had when I questioned so many of life’s choices. I’m most proud of being her momma.”

And this happened in Hawaii. We had five glorious days with my parents, where she was the center of attention. She has come back stronger, well rested, filled with stories and Vietnamese language and Vietnamese food. She made so many memories together with us. I can picture the after now. The after when it’s her advocacy, her activism, her career and her real-life kdrama. And it’s because she shared that with the three of us.

One of the best parts I wasn’t even around for. I haven’t seen the videos yet. I’ll look after she wakes up, as we are back in somewhat gloomy San Diego today.

But she got to ride is this all electric Akimoto up and down Waikiki as her grandfather was enjoying having a cute 14 year old in the backseat. They were getting donuts at Leonards, and the squeezed into a tiny parking spot. She said her grandfather wasn’t scared of anyone, and it was fun getting some attention. I guess these two apples don’t fall far from the tree. Oh yeah, we also own a solar farm now LOL.

March 1, 2023

by Dr. Plastic Picker

Am I 짜증나 (annoyed)? Yes I am. It took me a long time and all of my professional accomplishments to get into that board room. I forgot briefly how long it took me to get into that board room, about the 10 years in middle management, meeting the metrics, the burn out, and the rebirth. And then I ran for retirement committee on a clear divestment/ESG platform. I was honest and upfront about my goals for running for retirement committee. I won with a majority of support of over 700 physicians. And someone in a suit that is not a doctor looked at me, and equated wanting an index target fund that was ESG to a niche financial ask. He looked at me and he was annoyed, and I was polite and annoyed back. I followed the rules. Mr. Plastic Picker took the day off to drive me all the way to Pasadena for this meeting. I met everyone and shook hands. They know I am the Green Team/Sustainability Team co-lead here. They know I am a climate and health advocate. I shook hands and made myself physically known to someone else who has a big title in our organization. I’m sure I annoyed him too, and he annoyed me. We know we are on opposite sides right now in this discussion.

I realize I’m a fiduciary. But I will say it again, I AM ALSO AN EARTHLING. That is it. I’ll continue to show up at this committee meeting. Everything passes by unanimous vote anyway. Honestly I’ve been on so many committees and we are rubber stamping things that two people have already decided they want to do. That someone (namely a younger female pediatrician) dared show up and make the rubber stamping a bit harder probably annoyed them. But guess what, CLIMATE CHANGE ANNOYS ME!!! And sometimes men annoy me quite a bit. I am a SHE who prefers HEs, but sometimes those HEs can be so ANNOYING!!!

But I had two great climate projects , a writing project and our H3 SD Summit to move forward. I got to send emails out to those two groups that not shockingly are mostly SHES!!! The entire time I was looking at those annoying two HEs yesterday, I was thinking that I’ve 100% worked more than they have. Between being a working pediatrician mother and picking up litter. I have more years of training and I’m certain I had higher SAT and MCAT scores. I’m pretty sure my networth is higher. And I realized yesterday that real estate is a climate-safe investment as well. The price of timber went up 400% which is why our Oregon farm has been a great buy!!!! I think that outperformed those investments that are tainted in oil and coal.

Thank you for listening. I’m less 짜증나 annoyed now. Yes I realize we can all get sued as fiduciaries although it’s never happened in the committee’s history. I realize the fear mongering. I have a large umbrella insurance policy, thank you very much as well. But what is more likely, is the seven fold increase in extreme heat events. I have a plan to move forward with this issue. It’s such an important issue. I think I’m just going to keep on showing up to these meetings and annoy these two men. Because as a pediatrician and as a mother, this is for my children and actually for theirs as well. Aaaarrgggghhh. It’s raining today which I remind you is due to atmospheric rivers and the wetter seasons are wetter and the dry seasons are more dry. I have 3 months until I have to annoy those two HEs again at the next quarterly meeting.

February 25, 2023

by Dr. Plastic Picker

I’m not sure what drives me? I find these really cool opportunities that will help the earth, and help a student or colleague – and I jump on in. Why not? I think. I don’t try to take over the project, but usually I find it’s helpful to mentor someone or to collaborate on these shared climate projects. And then when one project is brought across the finish line, I update my resume on Doximity. It’s a legitimate site that folks look toward. I even got a grant from doximity to travel to Peru years ago with our HMO Global Scholars Program. It was $1000 or so!

It’s all good for the earth and climate, which is the most important. I figure I might as well update my internet resume. Just checking now I have the “Most Press Mentions 2021 and 2022” and the “Most Published in 2021.” I’m not trying to get the most press mentions or most published. What I’m trying to do is get the most impact on green house gas emissions. But it’s fun to update things on the site.

What’s wrong with me? Nothing. I just wanted to type something today. And I wanted to thank everyone who reached out to me in person and virtually to encase me in that big cozy hug. Thank you. I feel better. I feel safe today. And it’s raining like crazy, and it’s a beautiful world.

January 24, 2023

by Dr. Plastic Picker

I had started two blogposts yesterday, but deleted them. They each started with two different images, and were actually almost complete blogpost. But after I had put my thoughts on the screen in semi-coherent fashion, they lost their power and the self-centeredness of the posts were not the right tone for this blog. The narcissistic tones emanating from Dr. Plastic Picker (me) didn’t sit well. So I got those thoughts out, and I then deleted them. Blogging never seems entirely right to me unless it’s that morning time to myself. It’s 5:53 AM and I’m about to make my matcha green tea with organic soy milk, and this is the blogger me that I want to present to you. The early morning quiet is always a better space for writing, especially having had a good nights sleep.

I had taken Monday off as a vacation day, since it was one of those odd Professional Development Days for the kids’ school. I had a long weekend then, and the weekend never ends up being what I expect. It was wonderful nonetheless, because I am very present for those precious moments with our two teens. We were all together, the entire family as the teen children are progressing in their maturation. And it was that, painful growing up through the weekend. Teenage moodiness. Slammed doors. Warm hugs and reconciliation. College interviews and shared worries. Trying to plan for a college future, that we don’t know where our oldest will be. Georgetown, U Penn, Harvard and Cornell – all names that were floating around this weekend. For the other, dreams of Yale, memories of Harvard, and wistful thoughts of as yet unknown cute boy that will one day appreciate how awesome a certain volleyball cutie is going to be. Mr. Plastic Picker and I holding each other tight, as same volleyball cutie storms through another 14-yo emotional maelstrom. And then the beauty of what emerges, two teens and a set of parents every day growing wiser and closer as we spend time together and noticing each other. It was an absolutely beautiful weekend.

It was also an epic climate work weekend, which I did not intend. I had scheduled already an HMO meeting where I was the one who connected our physician wellness director with San Diego Audubon Society. And we have an amazing collaboration that will be announced by others, and media will be there because I stay connected with everyone who loves the earth. And in the end of the day, physicians will be better and the least tern species that nest in our local wetlands will be better due to this shared event. Two other events are in the works and a journal article that will highlight this collaboration has been started, and one of our premedical interns will be helping to organize the writing.

It’s 6:24AM and my matcha green tea with soy milk is half way done. The volleyball cutie is downstairs now and I have to start my mommy duties and doctor duties soon. Much love to the readers of this blog. Thank you for listening and thank you for caring for children and the climate.

January 8, 2023

by Dr. Plastic Picker

I remember when we adopted our two bunnies six years ago, they were a bonded pair. They were bonded at about 2 years of age, and stayed bonded until Bella just recently passed away a few weeks ago. We are worried about Peter, the boy bunny, as he is slower than before. Bella’s passing was unexpected as we thought she would be with us until our youngest graduated high school in about three years time.

I don’t have many regrets in life, as I think our paths are meant to be. I don’t ever think you meet the wrong person, and the universe has someone destined for you. And Peter and Bella were destined for each other.

One of my few regrets in life is that we never officially had the bunny wedding we were planning when we first adopted our bunnies. I was then, and am still now, a fairly traditional person. I believe you should love who you love, and I believe in marriage equality but I believe in marriage. And my one regret is that we never gave Bella and Peter, the spring bunny wedding – I always wanted to organize!

RIP beautiful spunky Bella. I didn’t have time to make sure you were a beautiful bunny bride. We are taking care of Peter though, and we did take him to the vet to make sure he was okay.

January 5, 2023

by Dr. Plastic Picker

The entire thing is beautiful. The UCSD premedical students involved. The collaboration with other states and climate and health advocates, now Oregon and Missouri and New York. Reaching out has been so powerful. Reaching out on a shared project that has been meaningful, has been an exercise in building community. Connecting premedical students and future physicians throughout the country, and re-energizing exhausted pediatricians deep in the weeds of climate work, has been partly my goal in this project. I always tell everyone, I 100% don’t know the answer to solving the climate crisis – but I know the answer includes you.

And that you – included the children that we are doing this for. In the end the title of child advocate is special. And as a pediatrician, we have the preservation of life as we know it on earth for our children and grandchildren as our goal.

Just typing away my thoughts here so I can sort through them, and move through the projects. Our leaded aviation paper was accepted through the Journal of Community Health. I am so proud of our team, but in particular Riley Gilbertson our premedical student. He’s been accepted to several very good medical schools, and I’m so proud of him. And the fossil fuel divestment paper is about to be submitted one last time to Pediatrics, and it is so good. So very well written. I am proud to have added a few key sentences and ideas to the writing of that paper.

I’m still having silly thoughts of our family’s pseudo kdrama. But I know they are silly, and I’m tucking them away. But when a climate advocate begins to dream of her future grandchildren in the many possibilities of what they will be, than you know there is hope. Hope through action. Hope through community. Hope through taking at least one action every day on behalf of the earth.