August 20, 2020

by drplasticpicker

I’m tired this morning. I finished a Middle-Management Power Point Update I have to deliver at 730AM. I worked on it during the weekend, most of Tuesday, and finished it yesterday and practiced. I also worked like everyone else with a full day of clinic. I had an abnormal orthopedic MRI result in and I’m a bit frustrated. I had been up all night worrying about this particular patient and had sent them in for emergent care and specialty consult weeks ago. Now my suspected diagnosis is being considered weeks after the fact. The story is still unfolding, but it’s still frustrating. I texted several people yesterday to put my patient forefront in their minds. Sometimes as a primary care pediatrician that is what we have to do, just remind other people that our patients are important.

Then there is this mornings presentation. It’s done and I will do fine. Remember I’m a state level speech level champion, and I can wing it as well as anyone. I was going to practice one more time, but I decided it’s better to clear my mind and enjoy a cup of coffee slowly.

I’m not really angry like the bear above just tired this morning. I need to catch up with life after this presentation is done. All Tuesday I sat at home really working on bits and pieces of this presentation. But the most important part is that I sat and I thought. I thought about how to hard-wire and make our system better. By the time Mr. Plastic Picker came home Tuesday, which is really only a 4-hour work day for me and I’m otherwise OFF, I had been sitting in the kitchen and fielding various calls for over 10 hours trying to improve our system. The power point seems very simple and straight-forward but actually represents major systemic changes I am trying to make that will make things better for patients and the entire system.

The reason I get frustrated is how unproductive, wasteful and pointless some efforts are. I am more peacful now, and less judgemental – but when you help run a department and budget one has to be objective and critical. You can’t be polyannish with millions of dollars and patient outcomes at stake. I get frustrated because with very little money and very little time alotted, I am able to make big strides. Yet I’ve seen people sit in positions for years earning hundreds of thousands of dollars and have accomplished zip-zilch. Waste of money. I have seen people push through projects that cost so much money, and a COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME AND MENTAL ENERGY. And with just $1500 we probably saved thousands of lives by pushing through a social media vaccine campaign whose design was donated by an innovative resident. I know there are physicians who are so uncharistmatic and so full of themselves, that they have tried to ruin the career of younger physicians – yet I have to sit and give this update to them.

But I will speak and take credit for my work this morning, which is the whole point. Someone wandered into the lunch room yesterday having finally caught me to tell me about one more applicant that they want to hire. This particular person does very little to help run the department, but wants to hand out non-existent jobs like an emperor or a Chief Boss. As someone who owns having to manage and direct and try to make a more functional department, I looked at my friend and said, “That other person you wanted? You remember him? I talked to five other people and that would have been a major @*&#^ mistake.” I’ve had this battle with this particular physician for years about the same issue. He wants to hire everyone that walks in the door, and we don’t have jobs and my job is to vette them. But I think he understood and it was the first time since I’ve become Assistant Boss that he nodded in agreement, and I think finally understood. I relented and said the other previous candidate was good and I’d reach out. I just want people to do their homework, do some thinking, before they dump candidates, projects, ideas into my lap. I already clean the beach which gives me joy and I do it out of a sense of love for the earth, but I do not want to clean up people’s professional messes. Bringing ill prepared people into an organization that is centered on patient-care is like dumping a trash can on the beach and lighting it, the resulting litter and pollution people affects everyone and in our department our pediatric patients. I’ve picked up trash around abandoned fires, and I’d rather avoid it completely.

Thank you for letting me vent this morning. I feel much better and will now shower and get ready for my presentation. I do have hope. After my talk today and a handful of patients, I will do what I love since I am OFF anyway.

1. Lock in my rate to Refinance a Rental Property
2. Continue my guerilla gardening/compost project, I’m trying to create a succulent fairy garden at an undiscloed secret and abdandoned location.
3. Organize my AAP Climate Change & Health Interns as we are going to meet Saturday.
4. Deploy them to do three great projects!
5. Get giftbags at Michaels for Girl Scout Cookie Rewards, Teacher Gifts from our Daughter, Gifts for the UCSD Residents for the upcoming Climate Change & Health Lecture, Gift for UCSD 3rd Year resident who designed our Social Media Backdrop
6. VIDEO SELFIE for Momsoutfront to Advocate for an Office of Environmental Justice for our city
7. PLOGGING this evening, and I want to go with our daughter and spend more real time with her.

This blog has been great for my career! Because I can vent to you and tell you what I really think, I am much nicer to everyone at these middle management updates. I still think these thoughts, but I am much better at filtering now. LOL.