Sweet Sixteen
May 4, 2023
by Dr. Plastic Picker
I became a climate and health advocate around the same time my own daughter was entering her tween and teen years. Mixed in the city council advocacy and trying to address the existential threat of climate change at the regional level, I was mothering a tween and now a teen. I usually end my talks with a picture of her, because she’s incredibly pretty and accomplished, and I talk about my hope for what the world will look like for her in 15 years. I am incredibly greedy, ambitious, petty, loving and immature – when it comes to my own daughter. But usually I try to channel these normal emotions into good, by working harder for climate and health. I want for her what I want for all our children, a livable planet. I am five years into my promised 10 years of activism for her and your children’s future, and I’m incredibly proud of all that I’ve been able to accomplish in our small corner of the world.
So today is a big day for her, because we are celebrating her sweet 16. As a pediatrician, I’ve doctored and guided so many children and families through the pangs of childhood and adolescence. I feel incredibly grateful to have two children, who are a credit to our families. They represent the best of Mr. Plastic Picker and myself. As I see both children step forth into the world with their talents, passions and beauties – I feel satisfied with my life and am okay with getting older. It’s the natural cycle of life, decay and rebirth. From compost comes the flowers, and I am now the compost and my son and daughter are blossoming. I think much of the preoccupation with youth and beauty in our world, is because we are ignoring children and ignoring the true beauty of youth and their promise. When I see the teens and tweens, I see the results of parents and grandparents that have come through my clinic. I remember my own parenting, and see every day how exhausting and demanding each stage of child rearing truly is.
So I don’t botox my body. I don’t plastic surgerize myself. I try to exercise and eat well, and I asked my mother-in-law to trim my own hair two days ago. Given that she recently had a stroke and a concussion and is in her 80s, I thought I was incredibly brave! LOL. But I love her, and I am busy with life and doctoring and mothering, and honestly don’t worry about myself too much. But somehow my patients love me and the parents and nurses like my outfits. I think it’s mostly that I am happy these days, because I am enjoying my children and I have so much purpose in life.
We have lots of projects going and I need to send our May Newsletter out. We have our meeting for our advocacy group soon. I have three letters of recommendations to write. I have a paper to write with our writing group. I need to hug some residents who need hugs because being a resident and trying to create a family is hard when you are working 80 hours a week.
But today. Today I will concentrate on her. To my daughter, I have 130 silly emails I sent to someone dreaming about you and your future. I have another growing 10 silly journal entries lamenting on now discarded dreams and forming new dreams for you. But woven in those silly emails and journal entries and instagram and facebook posts, was snippets of your childhood between 14 and 15. I have been so lucky to live each day with you. The days are longer for mommy. I eagerly wait to see you wake up, and whether you’ll be pouting or smiling. I wait for our walks together, so you can tell me your teen stories for the day. But you and oppa are so busy now with your lives. Thank you for involving me in yours. Thank you for being an incredibly brave, smart, beautiful and accomplished girl. That I’ve been your mother for 16 years has been the greatest gift I’ve been given. You were the baby that almost didn’t make it, as you were born so early. And yesterday we were chatting about your sweet 16 and who was coming and who wasn’t, and you just casually mentioned your expected grades for this upcoming trimester without batting an eyelash. Given that your mother is Harvard-trained, how is it that I have a daughter that is smarter than I am? And with that, I feel incredibly empowered to save the world for you (and oppa). The boy part, you’ll figure out yourself. Mommy was jumping the gun. How did I ever raise someone smart enough to have the dreams that you are having. Shoot for the stars and all the plans we’ve been talking about. We are not the normal mother-daughter pair. You inspire me everyday to work harder for the earth and for our community. Happy birthday to the sweetest teen that I have ever met.
I don’t think you realize how incredibly beautiful you are. And it’s the internal part. It shines through.