Personal Journey: I’m on Fire but I’m Exhausted
May 18, 2023
by Dr. Plastic Picker
We are getting there. We are getting there. It’s been an absolute whirlwind of meetings and support, and emails and coming of like-minded hearts. For those of us deep in the climate work, we know that there is a very narrow window of time. It’s a literal planetary code. And that’s why that even though I know this the San Diego Heat and Human Health Summit won’t solve everything, it will move the climate work faster. We will get to averting rising global temperatures and ecosystem disruption a bit faster. Every act counts. Every bag of trash counts. Every major summit that changes the national conversation counts.
But it’s been a marathon of meetings and marathon of emails. Convincing and cajoling. Talking and persuading. Pleading and asking. And I’m doing this all for our collective children, but honestly for my own as well.
To all my friends, let me have my innocent dreams of my daughter and innocent hopes for her future. I need it so badly because I know how truly dire the situation is. Rising temperatures, hurricanes, atmospheric rivers, asthma. I usually have hope. But this morning I have to put on my happy persona which is mostly true. I’m excited to go to DC. I really am. I’m excited to be invited to the World Economic Forum. I’m mostly excited to see all of my friends on August 12, 2023 at UCSD School of Medicine. But I’m so much of an introvert , that it’s hard for me. It’s hard for me to reach out again and again. Usually people say yes, but sometimes I get a no. And the no, they hurt so much. But I keep on re-engaging and re-connecting, because we have to do this together as a region and as a community and as a people.
I think the introverts, those like me. We are the beautiful ones that the world does not see, because we are afraid to get hurt. We hide. But after being hurt and being healed, it gives you this sort of super human strength and knowledge. Those that tried to hurt you. The naysayers, The negative people. They are gone now. And all is left is the stark reality of the climate crisis and the planetary code, and I’m there and you are there – and what does one do, but try to resuscitate the patient.
So it’s really happening, The summit is really happening and thank you to my real friends who have seen me run up and down the hallway. I’m exhausted because I was so happy. And being so happy, you crash. It’s not a natural state for me, this extremes of emotion. But I’ll take it, for the earth and realize that I am meant to be where I am and to be who I am. And that I’m allowed to look at a picture and smile, and dream for my daughter.