We are back after one of the most unexpected vacations we’ve ever had. We were supposed to be in Hawaii staying at a family home, but ended up in San Francisco because of a once in a lifetime Oregon snowstorm that closed the I-5 up to our farm.
Let me explain. Our daughter was in Alaska on a once-in-a-lifetime school trip and she was exposed to COVID-19 by very close contacts. Even though we technically could have traveled and she had tested negative on day 3 after exposure and not ill and Hawaii stopped checking, we did not travel to Hawaii. The decision to not fly to Hawaii is because it was the right thing to do. We worried about being stuck in Hawaii if someone in the family became sick. We worried about having to take care of her, being an ex-preemie and formerly more sick when she was younger, out of state. We worried even just having to miss work, even though we both haven’t used any of our COVID time alloted by the state and the HMO, because we are health professionals who if we get sick – have large ripple effects on our patients. We try to avoid having to do that for our fellow physicians. If everyone did this, the whole system would run better – but that’s a discussion for later. We called a close friend for advice, and appreciated her listening to us. In the end, we made the decision that was right for our family which was to take a road trip. In the end our daughter did not end up getting COVID, and no matter what we are grateful for at least that.
I’ve been thinking about the power of speech, the power of words and the power of voice lately. When babies are born, a good measure of how healthy they are is the volume of their cry. If a baby comes out into the world crying and screaming, then things are working. The lungs are working. The heart is working, and usually the APGAR scores (the measure at birth of how healthy they are) are high.
Our daughter the last few weeks has composed several spoken word poems that simply amazed me. I’m not one to give credit where credit is not due. I think I’m relatively objective when evaluated my own children’s writing. She was good both the composition of the poem and the deliver. She was very very good.
It’s Monday morning at 632am, and I’m sitting at the kitchen table that has been thrice handed down. It’s my mother-in-law this morning instead of my father-in-law, as she is boiling something on the stove. The blue light of the fire on the kitchen range is something that defines my morning. It’s either lemon tea, porridge or water for their coffee that is the focus of the first fire. At some point we will need to get an induction stovetop as it does not make climate sense to burn methane (natural gas), but it’s on our to-do list. The parents-in-law are getting their COVID 2nd booster today. My mother-in-law told me, and I had heard from Mr. Plastic Picker already. Eventhough I already knew, I have learned to be quieter and listen to her and nod. Ask her a short question to make sure I knew that she knew I cared.
It’s a quiet weekend because the vibrant energy of our daughter is out of state, on a once-in-a-lifetime for most children school trip to Alaska. We try to raise her the way we were raised, without too much emphasis on material things. But both her parents are doctors, and her little private school enabled me to be a working mother and figure out motherhood and taking care of other people’s children. She’s turned out well, and is a credit to herself and her family. For her the once-in-a-lifetime trip for most children is still special, and she appreciates these opportunities that she is given.
I’m smiling this morning, but smiling more quietly. I’m smiling mostly for a close friend whose eldest has been accepted and going to UC Berkeley. Many friendships that start at work are complicated, because the practice of medicine is complicated. My relationship with this friend is complicated. But my joy for this family and this child is so true, and I’m soaring with them that this particular child was able to do it – and overcome obstacle after obstacle thrown in her way and her family’s way. Life is unfair. We are all fighting for equity, but we are not there yet. But this is 100% a win for the world but more importantly, I’m thinking of just my friend and her pride and her mothering and her doctoring. I write too much for most to notice, but if you are reading this – know that you are one of the people I most admire in the world. And I am happy for you and your baby.
And I’m smiling today for my babies too. All my babies. My own children, the oldest who is asleep and will be driven to school for only another month or so before he gets his own car. I’m smiling for the little children in my practice, as my heart is wide open now – to play and to laugh and to smile with them in clinic. I’m smiling for the earth. And I’m smiling mostly for myself and another mommy doctor, because it’s really hard to raise kids when you are tasked with taking care of other people’s children. And somehow via different paths, we figured it out. Both of us. All of us.
Let’s figure out together how to take care of now the earth.
Avatar of a defiant person, defiants teenagers. Just half kidding!
February 3, 2022
by drplasticpicker
I’m not an easy person. I realize that. I’ve calmed down now in my still youthful early-mid forties. I thought it was being a Crimson University graduate, but Dr. Dear Friend summed it up well. She said I can intimidate people. I honestly can’t help it. It’s not where I went to school, but who I am. I tend to like to get things done. Despite my being more centered and holistic, I am ultimately a goal-driven and project-oriented person. It may be an artificial sense of completion, but I like to tick things off my check list. Number of bags of trash. Number of vaccine quality projects done. Another super interesting place to give a presentation.
Realizing my need to complete tasks is part of my own internal make-up, I have now created earth-tasks that I am hyperfocused on. My current earth-projects are the Rewild Mission Bay work and getting the AAP California State Government Affairs Expert Committee on Environmental Health and Climate Change off and running. Oh and helping our premed advocacy interns onto their journey to medical school.
It makes me not such a popular person at times. That’s okay. It’s never been important to me, popularity. I’d rather be impactful and effective.
But I’m here on the blog today to remind all our readers (and thank you for your continued presence) that it’s okay and actually necessary for all of us do-gooders out there to also take care of your financial house and parent your children. And honestly the last few weeks that has been my focus. I am in the middle of two large real estate transactions, and one came in pretty close to deadline. If I had not gotten that done, it would have cost me thousands in capital gains taxes. We are also in the process of doing a property exchange on a rental condo in Imperial Beach. It’s really nice. My mother called me and asked me why I hadn’t called her, and I told you – I was busy with loan applications! The interest rates are going up mommy! She understood.
Last night, I also had to do something that needed to be done. I can only be Dr. Plastic Picker if my teenage children are on the straight and narrow. They are definitely on the straight and narrow, and generally very good children. But there was a minor issue with one of them and it needed to be dealt with at dinner as a family. In our family if you vere on a questionable path, it’s not just you that is affected – it’s our entire family. That includes your father Mr. Plastic Picker, your mother Dr. Plastic Picker, your grandparents, your sibling, your puppy and your two bunnies. The entire family weighed in and said “that is not acceptable behavior.” Well actually it was mostly me Dr. Plastic Picker that said in a very calm and measured voice “I received an email from school, and we have discussed it. You will email your teacher and apologize for yourself and on behalf of your entire family.” In the end it was such a minor minor infraction, and honestly the teacher dropped the ball as well for not dealing with this in class. And society has become so permissive that for a majority of people it would not seem like a big deal. But again, for my children and for me – I expect more from my children. It’s hard to be my child. All that parenting and that concern 100% comes with strings. It comes with ancestral strings and expectations, that how you act reflects upon me and your entire family. With that, I was a super strict parent yesterday.
But that was how my father was with me. He was happy go-lucky with other people’s children, but very strict with us at home. And that is how I am in general with our children regarding public behavior. So take care of your financial house and make sure your children are doing okay. You are the only one who will take care of those two things. And then if there is extra time, yes – please help us avert the climate crisis!
I have no idea what this is. And it’s not necessarily this child or the other child that was reprimanded last night. It’s nice to be vague on the blog.
I’m up at my regular blogging time now. It’s been a while. It’s pitch dark outside and the house is quiet. I have my matcha green tea soy latte in a Yeti Tumbler, a gift from the former regional chief of pediatrics for participating in a gun safety pilot program. It’s a long weekend for the kids and they have Monday off, and I somehow managed to remember to take that day off too. The Yeti Tumbler keeps my morning matcha green tea at the right temperature for longer, and there is some sweetness with some sugar – but much less than I used to drink with coffee.
100% cotton scraps from my Mans Greatest Hospital scrubs. Used the round part for the great succulent give away, and composted the rest.
October 11, 2021
by drplasticpicker
As a quadruple graduate of Crimson University (undergraduate, medical school, residency, chief residency and fellowship – we were even premedical tutors for a decade) – it’s hard for me not to think about the same Crimson University since both Mr. Plastic Picker and I went there and our son is now a junior in high school. The annoying thing about the whole Ivy League thing is that people expect your children to go there, even if you don’t want them to go there or they don’t want to go there.
That’s my girl. My former preemie, born at 2 lbs and many illnesses during her first few years of life. I’m having too much fun in the mornings trying to save the earth. Posted on several sites about the upcoming October 14, Children’s Environmental Health Day. Hopefully will get a shout out on the AAP newsletter and also twitter and Instagram account. I received $250 from the AAP California as an honorarium for being a part of a panel discussion. It’s such a kind gesture from them and I replied back after being inspired by thinking about October 14 and wandering around my succulent garden,
This is incredibly kind of AAP-California and unexpected and much appreciated. I will gladly accept on behalf of our san diego committee. my address is xxxx. I am inspired and since october 14 is children’s environmental health day, which one of my colleages Dr. Dan Spencer applied successfully to have recognized by several cities in the San Diego area – we hadn’t decided on an “event” yet. So I know this super affordable and family owned place that sells succulents for $1 a piece. I’m going to use the $250 and buy 250 succulents, and hand them to 25 of our pediatrician members to hand out to 10 kids on that day. It’s going to be the great pediatric succulent give away!!!! Thank you for inspiring this event! Super excited and grateful to have worked with everyone on that impactful day.
Texted one of our premed interns who needs a project to work on, and she can do this easy project. Maybe create a social media ad, and help me distribute some of the succulents. Maybe to Breda Velasquez who is the head of pediatric psychiatry. I really like her.
But in this fun and creative time I have in the morning, I wanted to share something with the blog readership. I know I talk about my children a lot, and you’ve all heard about my teen daughter. She has made me a better pediatrician, as she has helped me understand a bit better how scary it is to have a sick child. She was sick a lot when she was young. Hospitalized several times for pneumonia, surgery for ear tubes, meningitis supposedly in the NICU which ended up being a line infection. White count at some point of 90K. That’s a high white count.
She made the Wave Volleyball Club 14U-5 team. She had started volleyball about six months ago at a small supportive club in the southbay. She had a great start, and I appreciated mostly the time we had in the car together chatting and this new adventure that I, as her mother, was a part of. Right now she loves volleyball. Her life is volleyball. She is making excellent grades as well. She wanted to go out for this club, where the other girls are much taller and have been playing much longer. She has grit and she is determined. I’m inordinately proud of her. She is now a member of USA Volleyball, and signed a commitment letter with the San Diego Regionaly Volleyball Association. And that is it. Lots of environmental work and projects, but here I wanted to share this moment of mommy happiness. She’s my why. Just like likely your children are your why. We are trying to save the earth for them, so they will have a liveable planet.
Stay tuned! The great pediatric succulent give-away!!!!
It’s 230AM and I’m UP!!! I’m usually not up this early and I’m completely weaned off coffee for the last almost six weeks. I didn’t even drink a diet coke yesterday nor tea. Seeing a full panel of patients on Fridays was meaningful but it’s exhausting – emotionally. I thought I was okay, but after dinner when I was successfully able to have us eat a good several servings of vegetables by whipping up some broccoli and mushroom steamed vegetable side in the Instapot that went along with various leftovers a can of chilli – I fell asleep early. I was laying on the couch and the entire family was settled in the living room including the grandparents to watch some sort of documentary on a Kenyan marathoner breaking the world record. I dozed off pretty early. I just remember by daughter reminding my husband, “Can you make sure mommy gets to bed?” Somehow I ended up in my bed and had a good six hours of sleep. That is not bad. I usually sleep a good 8 hours these days. But I was thirsty and my body told me to wake up, and I had an idea about a climate project to further our collective efforts to Rewild Mission Bay. San Diego Pediatricians for Clean Air have joined their coalition.
Our last summer in Boston years ago. We decided to leave.
August 23, 2021
by drplasticpicker
I think the reason I’m so enamored with Dawson’s Creek right now, other then the really good script writing and dialouge, is the idea of home. I’ve realized now that those stories and books that are “friends,” the ones that I read over and over again – have that theme. Where is one’s home? What is one’s relationship with place and how do you define it? For me, my environmental activism like many others is anchored in the idea of the places I call home and trying to literally clean those pieces of earth or the sky above it. That it is all related to the need to preserve the amazon and the water quality in the entire ocean, is why it now encompasses literally the entire world.
But it’s the end of August, and although the work of earth-saving will continue – the kids’ summer break is drawing to a close. They have another two weeks until school restarts. They are still at their fancy prep school and I’m at peace with the exorbiant tuition that we pay which is the antithesis of much of what I stand for. But I accept that it’s okay to have contradictions in one’s life. I’m Dr. Plastic Picker but we still get sushi in styrofoam once in a while. I extol the cost savings and health-benefits of making your own home-made pizza, yet I buy salt and pepper fried chicken wings for our clinic at moments of weakness.
Yes it’s the end of August and it’s been a really good summer for the kids despite the altered vacation plans and the COVID delta surge. We stayed mostly in the house, still social distancing. We did have the kids do a few outings mostly with family and to family houses where everyone who was able to , was vaccinated. Our son had his 16th birthday with two vaccinated friends at Liberty Station where they had lunch at the outside food court and masked. My sister came into town, and our family got together several times for dinner. That was probably the best part of the summer. And instead of Oregon and Montana, we instead did a short driving trip to San Francisco where we wandered around up there.
But sitting back and reflecting during this summer, I’m really proud of our kids. They both grew intellectually and emotionally quite a bit. Both took risks. Our daughter threw herself into volleyball and found something outside of academics that gives her passion and purpose. She’s made such a good group of friends through volleyball that I’m forever grateful to the Neptune Volleyball Club. We were buying used uniforms at the fancy prep school used uniform sale, and we ran into some happy friends but mostly what seemed to us unhappy acquaintances. It’s been good for her to get out of her friend bubble and get to know other people. She delved into her love of ceramics, and it’s something that she is exploring now. She’s going to join the ceramics club and also taking another course as an elective. I fully support this. And our son finished Advanced Chemistry over the summer and surprisingly enjoyed it. He did very well, and will take AP Chemistry this next year. He was proud to have finished his SAT prep course that took up a lot of the summer. And the summer writing course that he was resistent to doing, he actually really enjoyed.
Mr. Plastic Picker and I are so proud of our kids. For us, focusing on them as intellectuals and giving them the room to take intellectual risks has been very important. And for us that has helped us as people too. I’m trying to take risks in my career and to grow professionally and intellectually. Mr. Plastic Picker is still trying to figure out his path as well. It was overall a really good to summer for the kids and our family.
Dear Nurse Jenny. One plant died, but the other two we are watching carefully.
June 27, 2021
by drplasticpicker
It’s 3AM and the puppy and I are up. I simply had a cup of coffee at 6pm, and it was too late and now my sleep cycle is off. In general, my sleep is much better. This is in general a rare occassion. The puppy got up as well, and I let her out for a bit. Of course she barked into the empty night, and I opened the fridge and with the light of the fridge which she can see from the backyard – she comes running in. I give her a treat. She’s now comfortably asleep with the safest and most gentle person in the house, our teen son. She loves to curl in bed with him, right behind his knees. I saw my old mentor Dr. Ash yesterday and he always told me it was important for children to grow up with a dog. I sometimes would bristle at the lessons he tried to pass onto me, but in this as in many things he tried to impart – he was right.
