July 1, 2021

by drplasticpicker

Yesterday I felt literally and metaphorically “beat up.” I had a root canal and then I had to correctly address a middle-managment issue that required me to apologize. It was the right thing to do, but the circumstances that led up to that apology to a very wonderful person are so complex that it is mind-boggling. Sometimes I get so frustrated. If I was a man, I would not have to deal with many of the issues that make middle-management difficult. It’s still a man’s world, and as a technically part-time woman physician (supposedly 80%) leader – there is still so much unpaid work and responsibilities that I have to bear. It’s difficult for me because I’m the second income, and there is no financial or ego-motive for me. We are financially free, and it would be more cost-effective for me to return to clinic and just have the joy of seeing patients. I fundamentally love patient care. I since long got-over the ego-motives for being in physician leadership. We are glorified bean-counters and more like HOA-association heads. No real power, trying to get everyone to keep their front lawns up to made-up HOA specifications.

But I apologized and it was the right thing for the team, and my words were sincere. It wasn’t me, my actual person apologizing, it was Middle-Management Me apologizing. But in the back of the mind, I think of all the male leaders before me that never apologized. The Chief Boss a few chief bosses ago that made certain hiring decisions. The men that did untoward things to people that never fully had to own up to their moral transgressions. The men that sat there in the same position and essentially made a mess of the schedule that affected my life and the life of many working pediatrician mothers, and not many people said anything. The ones in leadership that formed a hiring system that is so stacked against BIPOC physicians, that it’s literally contributing to structural racism and health inequities. But it’s water under the bridge, and the current leadership team has no idea and they don’t need to know – because they weren’t even in our organization at that time. New team. It’s time to restart. It’s new relationships now. We have to build new connections and get to know eachother. But in my more vulnerable self, I feel hurt. I feel hurt not because of the actual situation that happened that required me to apolgize, but that I remember my journey to get to where I am. I see the accoloades that we are receiving for different metrics and how well run things are, and it was just assumed it was always like that. And I remember the past and how far it took us to get here, and no one remembers the steps and the efforts and the late nights trying to fix a system that seemed unfixable.

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June 30, 2021

by drplasticpicker

I have no idea what the image above means. All I know is an engineer worked on it, and the plans and project proposal was already done to build a bridge to cross Cows Creek on the timberland parcel of our Oregon Farm. The creek spans about 6 feet but it’s Riparian Habitat that we get a tax abatement on, and there are salamnders and fish in that creek that is fed by the southern Cascade mountains and feeds the reservoir. We want to be able to access the timberland recreationally for hiking and whatnot, and it seems good sense to go forwared and build the bridge.

The previous owners had sent us a sign-out document that was super interesting about the property. One of those pieces is this bridge. Anyway, I contacted the engineer that had been working on the property on behalf of our two families and asked if we could proceed with the project.

So Dr. Plastic Picker is literally building bridges!!! I ended my email to the engineer person with “We were hoping you could forward us and update us on any plans that were done already. We would love to continue to work with you to complete that project if possible. It seems like a connection across the creek, would be better for people and wildlife combined.” I thought that was a nice sentence.

And that is all! I find all of life, work, Oregon, my children, and the world – very interesting.

June 27, 2021

by drplasticpicker

It’s 3AM and the puppy and I are up. I simply had a cup of coffee at 6pm, and it was too late and now my sleep cycle is off. In general, my sleep is much better. This is in general a rare occassion. The puppy got up as well, and I let her out for a bit. Of course she barked into the empty night, and I opened the fridge and with the light of the fridge which she can see from the backyard – she comes running in. I give her a treat. She’s now comfortably asleep with the safest and most gentle person in the house, our teen son. She loves to curl in bed with him, right behind his knees. I saw my old mentor Dr. Ash yesterday and he always told me it was important for children to grow up with a dog. I sometimes would bristle at the lessons he tried to pass onto me, but in this as in many things he tried to impart – he was right.

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June 26, 2021

by drplasticpicker

Some of my family members are fishing up near the reservoir near our Oregon farm. Yes we are FARMERS!!! I actually know someone whose last name is Farmer. They are good friends. But we will be hobby farmers. But I can’t go up to Oregon eventhough it’s a paid off property because I still work. But I’m happy at work and just try to do a good job everyday and be happy, that is all you can ask of yourself. When you are in middle management, life is not that different. If you think life is different for a middle manager and there is more happiness, I would dissuade you from going into management. Happiness is found within not with fancy titles or power. Middle managment can be stressfull because you are trying to do work and think is a swirling mass of sometimes very disorganized people, and I’m super proud of myself that I’ve learned to reach this zen state that I can put that work in context, and find humour in chasing metrics and sitting at meeting after meeting. My biggest accomplishment is that I’m stream-lining committees and cancelling meetings! I love cancelling ineffective meetings!!! Time is money folks. I really don’t know why I’m in management really. I think it’s just because I wanted to attend my Crimson University 20th college reunion and have a fancy title to tell my classmates. I think that’s the truth. But after attending my reunion, I realized we just really cared about eachother. We celebrated everyone’s career advancements, but the most important part was whether we were each happy. And seeing happiness and joy of those we had attended college with, especially when we were what we called “blockmates,” was so wonderful.

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June 25, 2021

by drplasticpicker

Yesterday was one of those days. I doubted myself. But what I realized is that if you reach out, friends and mentors make it better. It’s good to get different opinions and then you kind of take and discard, and reformulate one’s own truth. That’s what I did yesterday. Those conversations are still in my mind, comments and impressions sorting themselves out. Life will all work out. Career will all work out. And what would have been an evening that could have ended up with a headache, ended up being one of those perfect evenings. Work stresses could have stolen yesterday’s prefect moments. But I have learned through my senses to center myself and what I remember from last evening was not the stresses, and spinning worries and thoughts that can destroy one’s true presence in the now – but I remember the moments.

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June 24, 2021

by drplasticpicker

I’m not a guru. I’m doing yoga more and reading more Buddhist philosophy text, and just thinking. But I’m not a guru. All I know is that doing a few minutes of yoga at night, and learning a move here and there and reading some philosophy and thinking – makes life make sense. Thinking of the planet holistically, and ordering my life and prioirities within the order of the world makes sense. It helps me understand myself better. I think that is why I have been drawn to the issue of physician wellness or burnout so much recently is that finally after being a doctor for almost 20 years, I know that I could never stop being a doctor. That is how I look at the world with a healer’s eye. I will definitely early retire from our organization at 58, but I’ll just go practice somewhere else or use my skills in a different way.

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June 23, 2021

by drplasticpicker

Just thinking crazy things and dreaming on the blog. I half wrote a blog to get out some frustrations I felt after a middle management meeting, and then I deleted it. It was good to get it out and just virtually delete the stuff. And now I’m back positive and happy and dreaming.

I’m not sure where life will take me professionally. Mr. Plastic Picker is moving full force in his career and it’s hard to imagine having two HMO chief bosses in a family. I can’t really imagine how that is even possible. So I’m happy where I am and not worrying about the what ifs. Some of not worrying about the what ifs and able to recover quickly from a semi-annoying meeting and meeting(s) in the plural, is thoughts of the one what-ifs I like to think about – OREGON!!!!

I think I could do this and still do my current job. I really think I can. My family member is having such a great time up in Oregon right now. We actually don’t even have to pay property tax as the property currently participates in Oregon State tax programs that exempt portions of the land for being part of Riparian Habitat, leaving forest for wildlife habitat, and actually growing hay on the pastureland.

If I were to run some kind of 3 day retreat I would want the following covered. I can’t teach these. I just think they are very important for everyone’s wellness.

1. YOGA and MEDITATION and MINDFULNESS
2. SLEEP
3. PLANT-BASED EATING or PLANT-FORWARD EATING
4. FINANCIAL WELLNESS AND MINIMALISM
5. THE POWER OF ADVOCACY
6. INCORPORATING CREATIVITY IN YOUR LIFE
7. THE POWER OF WRITING

That is is. Just dreaming. The following activities would be optional and we could provide.

1. RIDE A JOHN DEERE LAWNMOWER AND MOW THE PASTURE-LAND, that would be harvested and sold for hay
2. VISIT NEIGHBOR who raises SUSTAINABLE PASTURE-RAISED BEEF, SHEEP and CHICKENS for EGGS (of course we would pay an entrance fee)
3. GO KAYAKING IN NEARBY RESERVOIR (Life jacket required and have to sign release form)
4. GO FISHING (we’ll have fishing poles, there is rainbow trout stocked)
5. JUST GO OFF YOURSELF TO VISIT CRATER LAKE OR UMPQUA NATIONAL FOREST, because being in any nature setting you are working on yourself
6. Yoga, Yoga, more Yoga
7. WORK IN THE ORAGNIC GARDEN
8. COMPOSTING (which is just toss your veggies scraps in the compost pile)
9. DRIVE POLARIS AROUND THE PROPERTY
10. DARK NIGHT PHOTOGRAPHY (we are a certified dark night photography area)

That is it. Just fun dreaming on the blog. We are just going to enjoy the property for now. But I love dreaming about it. Helps me sleep. Helps me try to continue to #fightfor1point5 . We really need to save the earth.

June 22, 2021

by drplasticpicker

WE CLOSED ESCROW! WE CLOSED ESCROW!!!!!! I really didn’t want to believe BELIEVE it would happen until we closed CLOSED. But we closed yesterday and my family member and I were so so so happy. It was a bit of a rough ending of the deal, as things can often happen when you are closing on big financial deals, but we closed and all parties are happy. My family member is for the most part taciturn, but he was so happy he sent me this. Their family is actually up there now with friends staying in the very nice house there which has a kitchen range that is more expensive than anything I would have ever paid for in my house that is worth more than twice what 197 acres in Oregon.

Actually I just looked it up the Wolf Kitchen Range is actually worth over 10K. We can sell it used, and I can bring my KitchenAid one from my house (and buy an induction range) and then use the proceed to buy my yurt! I don’t think my family member will let me do that, but it’s fun to think about. I’d rather have a nice yurt!

Anyway, I don’t have anymore money. No – let me clarify, I’m done with buying any more properties for now. There is no secret to real estate investing. Most of our networth is actually just simple savings from have two good incomes and spending about only half of what we make and we invest the rest. Most of our investments are in old fashioned target date stocks through our retirement funds and college savings for the kids. We have a good portion every year and try to buy as much real estate as we can. We always put at least 20% and sometimes 30% down. Nothing fancy. And we did the same this time, after selling another rental and buying a farm instead. But I am so excited about the Oregon Farm!!! I’m still living in our area and I’m still happily working, because I’m going to buy a YURT!!!

And this is the secret to Dr. Plastic Picker’s financial success. When I buy things, I buy things that hold VALUE!!! I will buy a yurt and I’m going to rent it out to YOU (well not YOU, because you are my friend, but other people), and then teh yurt will pay for itself. I “spend” money on things that will increase in value. And the earth that the yurt sits on is increasing in value as we speak! It’s over 90 acres of timber forest and lumbar is up 400%. We aren’t going to clear cut the forest, but the forest has to be maintained and thinned periodically to keep it healthy. This makes the lumbar you buy at Home Depot to build the addition to your house. And more importantly, we are going to be stewards of the land. More oxygen for all of us!!!

June 21, 2021

by drplasticpicker

“Explore how pressure from and collaboration with wider healthcare stakeholders, such as the public, providers and policy makers, can help to further move the dial and deliver change for the broader ecosystem” this was part of the agenda for a webinar I missed. I had received it from a Healthcare Without Harm email. I missed the conference, but it was enough to prompt me to do something I’ve been meaning to do.

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June 20, 2021

by drplasticpicker

430AM is so much better than 245AM. My sleep cycle had shifted with everything that was happening, and I had been getting up too early. I was getting sleepy during the afternoon and then napping. That was not safe especially when you have to drive home in the afternoon at around 2-3pm when one’s cortisol hormone level is at the lowest (thank you 2/3 endocrine fellowship!). But working through things, I am better now and 430AM – 5AM is about the normal time I wake up. So I am better and the world is quiet, and I can do some climate work.

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