July 20, 2022
by Dr. Plastic Picker
The best blog posts come when I’ve working through emotions and I’m working through a lot of emotions this early morning at 5am. My body is getting back to a regular schedule, as the toll of binge-watching Kdramas has taken. I’ve honestly watched most of the really good ones, and I’m going through Kdrama withdrawal. Even good things can be bad for you, when they are consumed in great quantities. But I’m sleeping more on schedule and the earth is pulling me back into my normal circadian rhythm. I haven’t done an early morning plog to the beach in months, and I think I may head out this morning to get some quiet time for myself.
But yes I’m working through a lot of emotions this morning. I’m royally peeved because I bought this Matcha Green Tea Mix at Trader Joe’s and I realize I bought some sort of latte mix that is mostly just sugar, and only some tea. I usually buy the matcha green tea at Costco, but we’ve been trying to vary our routine and buy a larger variety of food. I shouldn’t be surprised because honestly Trader Joe’s is a lot of packaging and plastic wrapping. My latte doesn’t have the quality of matcha that I’m used to, and when you mess with Dr. Plastic Picker’s matcha- you better matcha watcha out! It’s certainly could be blamed on me for buying the latte mix but I just had high expectations of actually more matcha in the matcha green tea mix. My morning cup doesn’t look the pretty green that I’m used to. It’s a poor imitation.
This goes for unknown groups/persons that I’ve tried to pull into climate work. I’m not going to go into more details because I don’t want to be hurtful, and the climate movement needs everyone whatever they can give. Let’s just say there are groups or persons that want the accolades and as I dive into climate work, don’t put in the work. They want the pats on the head, and what I can give them – but I’m unimpressed with the work. And then there are others that I’m in awe of the care and consideration that they place on their projects. I think this is a reminder to me that I need to focus on the local, and ones I can meet in person.
That’s it. I realize some of it is that I am in general feeling like many women leaders underappreciated. Subtle phrases and emails, folks don’t mean anything by it – but we’ve been preprogrammed as women to be people pleasers. We all are. I’ve talked to some friends who are the most green of the green heroes that I know, and they are also feeling underappreciated and feel the imposter syndrome. And if they feel that, what chance do the rest of us mere mortals have?
I honestly just need to take time for myself. I’m going to start building my endurance a bit more and exercise. I felt like I was being criticized for how I was cleaning the rug in the kitchen by my mother-in-law, and that was just a ridiculous thought. And this is a ridiculous post but it’s the honest ramblings of an pediatrician trying to save the earth. I’m working on big important projects and everyone of those projects is more than anything else anyone else has done, yet I feel underappreciated? Isn’t that ridiculous?!!! And I realize that all of us need to learn how to appreciate ourselves and it makes it less exhausting and more sustainable for everyone. In the end the earth appreciates me, and I am part of the earth and I need to appreciate myself.