May 1, 2025

by Dr. Plastic Picker

That is the only way I can describe it. For the last 3 years, I’ve been involved in so much pollution work and on social media sharing this journey. I think part of the reason for my overall state of health may have been poor sleep, too much netflix and a large part the normal body changes of peri-menopause and menopause. I’m still working pretty much full time and no longer giving away those extra shifts that we are asked to work (although it’s manageable now – or at least a bit more). Patients are more sick due to air pollution (wildfires and Tijuana Sewage hydrogen sulfide gas). So the only way I can describe my mental state when I seemed happy (and I was) but a bit scatter brained is that my mind was fracturing. I did an epic trash art piece and it’s private and I won’t share it here, but it shows you how fractured my mind is right now.

So like any good physician, I heal myself. So how am I healing myself. I am learning to say no. I am saying no to additional speaking engagements that do not bring me joy. I am saying no to additional students since the ones we have are more than enough. I am saying no to some on social media that have formed an attachment to me that is not healthy for me, because I have never sought to be their physician or mentor.

I am saying yes to the UCSD Academic Internship Program, which formalizes some of this work that I’ve been doing. This also enables me to say no to students from other universities. I really am not responsible for the entire state of California. I am saying yes to running 1 -1 .5 miles in the morning. I took a break this morning, but the last two morning I have run 4-6 times around the block. I can run a mile. All of us can run a mile. It has been really good, and I’ve incorporated some stretching as well. I am saying yes to having coffee/matcha with students here and there. I am saying yes to holding my daughter’s hand. I am saying yes to cooking again, and thinking about muffins and berry breads that bring me joy in the morning and feed those I love. I am saying yes refocusing on my finances, because my time is my money and it seems like there are constant asks for money. I am here to help the earth and not the finances of students or other physicians. I don’t understand why folks don’t understand that. If you tell me your parents have worked as many hours as I have and Mr. Plastic Picker and his parents combined, than I may consider. I highly doubt it though. Your parents can work to pay for your school since you are clearly an upper middle class student. There are many more students worse off than you.

I am saying no to those who want too much from me, and need to contribute more to the earth. I am saying yes to new experiences.

And I needed to tell those who read this blog. I am amazed that there are more and more, despite my not blogging much these days! Thank you for following along this journey. I forgot that the most important thing I can do is to inspire. And it’s not the quantity of those that I can inspire. It’s those key folks out there who see what I am doing, and believe they can incorporate some of my workflows into their lives. Mostly other physicians and pediatricians.

And for those fellow physicians, you understand that again I can get burned out. That this work can take it’s toll, especially when you are in the middle of so much pollution and so many who are looking for leadership.

But having our daughter keeps me grounded. She (and her brother) are my climate why. And it’s always been about having some sort of livable future for them. But I need to spend time with her now, and it’s my turn to hold her hand and celebrate her wins. There are other pediatric climate and health advocates out there, but I am her only mommy. When my mind was fractured, I would zero in on her. On her life. her journey. Her art. Her beauty. Her innocence and every day left of being sixteen. She’ll be seventeen soon. And honestly that is the most important thing in the world to be now. I remember when she was just born and there was the real fear that she would not come out of the NICU a healthy baby. And now she is 17 and wants a cake that has a dancing queen on it.

Saying no to some things. Saying yes to others. Means I remember she asked for a special cake for her birthday this weekend. 17 and a dancing queen. And haven’t you been an absolute miracle child and you won another national award. Mommy loves you so much. Thank you for being my baby.